


One Hit And You’re Mine

by lostinthesounds



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Steve and Bucky - Freeform, am I gonna post this? let’s see, my first avengers one shot, omg?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 02:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18651337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: Bucky and Steve get into a fight.Bucky doesn’t know how to control his emotions, so Steve what he does best to get through to his best friend. He uses them to his advantage at the toughest point, even with the past bubbling beneath the surface.*Set After The Winter Soldier*





	One Hit And You’re Mine

**Author's Note:**

> After Endgame, I’m a wreck. My inner Marvel stan is rising, and I couldn’t help myself. Plus, one of my good friends Becca has gotten me deep into the Steve/Bucky ship and now I’m here. 
> 
> Wonderful! I hope you enjoy this spur of the moment fic. It’ll also be my first try at writing a M/M fanfic and I’m so excited to see how this turns out. I’m in love y’all.

Steve wasn’t surprised to see Bucky at his front door in the middle of the night. 

 

He expected it nowadays, familiar to the routine that followed. He would walk half asleep to the door, unlock it to see his sleep-deprived best friend who would reach out to clutch the other man to his chest as fast as he could. It was _so_ familiar that Steve even turned his guest room into a bedroom for Bucky—drawers filled with the clothes that Bucky leaves for Steve to wash because he knows he’ll be back—and he was seemingly always ready for his return. 

 

So, when his best friend has his left arm hidden behind his back— _Really_ , Steve originally thought it was because he was nervous, or afraid like a child—and twitching for comfort, he doesn’t think much of it and let’s Bucky walk inside. 

 

Steve rubbed at his eyes that felt heavy with sleep, as he tried to usher the man who he cared so much about into the other room so he could rest with the demons alive in his head, something throws him off guard just as the door closed behind him.  _Literally_. 

 

This time, he _was_ surprised. 

 

Bucky throws a punch, square in the right side of Steve’s jaw, and both of them stumble backwards. 

 

“ _Shit_ ,” Steve groans, suddenly feeling awake and alert. His hand cups his jaw as the pain spreads, he winced. “Bucky, what the hell?” 

 

Things happened too fast, Steve doesn’t know what to do. 

 

“I have a job to do,” Bucky starts to explain and he grabbed Steve by the collar of his cotton shirt and pulling him up to get in his face. It clicks for Steve, for the both of them, that Bucky was remembering his missions from the past, from the trauma that survived. He pushed Steve against the wall with so much force that Steve shut his eyes to keep his complains to himself because what _the_ — “I _have_ to kill you, Steve.” 

 

“You don’t.” Steve said. “You really don’t have to.” He knew better, he wouldn’t dare to fight back.  

 

Bucky grips harder onto the material of the shirt, pulling Steve forward and then backwards so his back hits the wall harder than before. 

 

He gritted his teeth, a look of fear and longing in his eyes like he had no control over what he was doing; and Steve’s eyes go wide. 

 

“Hey Buck,” Steve tries to calm him down with a soft voice, his hand gripping onto Bucky’s shoulder. To try and give him any sort of contact, “You’re not working for anyone, you’re okay.” He nods in assurance, “Don’t let this happen, don’t kill _me_ , come on—“ 

 

He gets cut off, “I won’t regret this.” 

 

“You will,” Steve takes a deep breath to keep his breathing steady. His shoulders start to ache, “It’s me, Buck. It’s _me_.” 

 

His best friend. 

 

His favorite person. 

 

His _best_ guy. 

 

It goes silent. Steve’s eyes were locked on Bucky’s every move, every tick, every thought that drew in his gaze. He knows that he got through to the stubborn man who had a hand inches away from wrapping around his neck, but it was that moment of vulnerability that gave Bucky the upper hand. 

 

 

Bucky shakes his head almost violently and shoves Steve away from him, not paying any attention to the way the blonde had saved himself from falling to the floor. 

 

“You, _you_ —“ Bucky points a finger harshly, “I was sent to kill you before and I failed. _I failed_.” He repeats again, and Steve fights the incredible urge to get any closer. “If I go back, and they find out that Steve Rogers isn’t dead, they would kill me.” 

 

His metal hand peaks through the sleeve of his sweatshirt, twitching with the idea of hurting someone, of fulfilling the desire for pain. Bucky doesn’t deserve that, he doesn’t deserve to feel the pain he does, _nobody_  should’ve experienced what he did. 

 

Steve set his hands out as precaution but stayed still, “They won’t kill you, I won’t let that happen.” He watched as Bucky’s shoulders slumped, somewhat in defeat mixed with grief. “I won’t let them come near you, Buck. I swear on my life.” 

 

“You don’t know that,” Bucky sounds so desperate for the truth, his voice cracks because he’s trying so hard to stay strong. To prove to himself that he was worth anything, “Steve, you _don’t_.” 

 

“I promise, Buck.” 

 

“You say that every time,” Bucky looks at him so intently, eyes wide and harsh. “I just hate being scared, absolutely terrified for my life and what I know I’m capable of. What I’m capable of doing to _you_ , and my brain won’t shut up. Steve, I’m exhausted,” He takes a breath, and can’t bring himself to look at the other man. “I’m just _so_ tired of getting these random flashbacks, sudden urges to hurt people and I—“ 

 

Bucky panics, eyes blown wide and he looks at Steve. He strides over to him and almost immediately notices the purple and blue starting to bloom across his collarbone and his cheek, and he swallows thickly. 

 

Steve doesn’t say anything, watching as Bucky’s gaze scans every inch of skin from his neck and above, and it’s silent on his end too. 

 

“Oh god,” Bucky winces, “Stevie, oh my _god_ , I’m so—“ He was mumbling his words now, so he takes a step back and shoves his hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt and clenched his fists tightly in the material. “I did that, I hurt you.” 

 

Steve notices that he’s anxious, too scared to step closer yet seconds away from running out of the door into the late hours of the night. 

 

“Buck, you didn’t mean to,” Steve tries to assure him, “It’s okay, I’m fine.” 

 

“No it’s _not_ fine,” Bucky snaps, “I don’t have any control of myself when I get like this, when I get reminded of what I failed to do in the past. I can’t stop myself, Steve.” The exhaustion seeped through his words, like he couldn’t believe it. (Steve felt his heart break in half, and then into a pile of pieces that pooled at his feet.) 

 

Steve tries to reach out, but Bucky moves faster, he expected it. 

 

“Buck,” he called out, right when the brunette’s hand was clutched around the door knob. “Don’t leave, I won’t be able to find you if you go far. They won’t let me, _please_ , don’t go.” 

 

“I’m dangerous,” Bucky pleaded in desperation, wanting Steve to just understand him. “I don’t deserve any of this, any nice treatment, and especially having you back in my life. If I can’t control myself when I remember that I once had to kill you, then what the hell can I do, _Stevie_?” 

 

“You don’t have to do this alone.” 

 

“You don’t get it,” Bucky said, twisting the knob and opening the door to welcome the cool air. “I’m not hurting you ever again, I made that promise a while—a long time ago, actually. I just broke it.” 

 

“ _Buck_ ,” Steve calls out again, and there’s tears welling up in his eyes when they lock gazes. He can’t lose him, not ever again, not when he just got him back in his arms. “It’s nothing, I’m gonna be okay and incase you forgot, I’m like you.” 

 

It was a failed attempt, he realized. 

 

“I heal fast.” He adds. 

 

“You’re like me, huh?” Bucky questioner with narrowed eyes and Steve steps forward, and focuses all of his attention on what he has to say. (Neither of them are stupid enough to forget that they both are super soldiers, but Bucky had experienced a life of torment after they got separated and Steve could never live through that.) 

 

“Yeah, I am.” Steve challenged. “I could run fast, I could fight people with my shield. I fight for people who can’t, who don’t want to, who _need_ it. I’m a strong person Buck, and you’re a fool if you think I won’t fight for you too.” 

 

“There’s nothing of the old me,” Bucky says, as if it was a valid argument to get Steve off of his case. “The other version of myself that we both know, who you actually want to be around. I’m not that person anymore.”’

 

The tension seems to clear, it came to rest and Steve sighs.  

 

“That’s not true,” Steve assured, as he points a finger to his own chest and continued. “I spent years thinking you were dead, that I would never see you again.” His hands are shaking, and he doesn’t even think about what Bucky almost tried to do to him. Because it wasn’t the real Bucky, the one that’s trying to come alive and be alright in a new life, a new world.

 

“ _Steve_ ,”  

 

“Be quiet,” Steve pleaded, as he paused to realize that Bucky listened to him. He looked smaller, almost curling into himself as best he could. “I had to come to terms with the new version of myself with the help of only a few people, I woke up in a new _century_ , Buck. I was scared, so damn _scared_.” 

 

“But, why?” Bucky spoke up, and his jaw was tight with emotion. He knew what it was like to wake up somewhere entirely new, against your will, and yet—he also knew his history with the blonde in front of him because of his memories coming back—his sigh was shaky and loud. “You had people to pick you back up, nobody knows what I went through.” His eyes filled with the past, and Steve wishes that he could’ve done something to fix both of them.

 

Bucky restates, louder this time as his hands gesture in the air. “I had nobody, and you don’t know what that feels—” 

 

“You wanna know why I was scared when I woke up a few years ago?” Steve bites back, _just_ feeding his desire to get closer to Bucky. His voice, suddenly strained, is soft when he gets in Bucky’s face. “It was because I didn’t have the one person who I wanted to face the entire world with, the guy from all these heroic videos from the war who happened to be the most _important_...” He trails off, not realizing that his chest was caving, he was breathing hard, and Bucky was staring at him. 

 

Bucky stood still, his brows furrowed together because just this _once_ , all he wanted to see was Steve, and acknowledge that they were the only two people on the planet. It was just them. 

 

Steve held his head high, not letting the close proximity get to him. 

 

“The guy who should’ve been admired more than me after the war, he was the most important person in my life.” He licked his lips, and Bucky was frozen in shock as he continued, “I was terrified, because I didn’t have _you_.” 

 

Their eyes locked, sky blue and dark brown, and neither of them wanted to move. 

 

It felt like an eternity, like a lifetime had passed, and Steve would’ve begged Bucky to say something in reply if he wasn’t too busy staring at his face. It was almost like Bucky was scared to open his mouth, apologize, or say anything to make the confession seem lighter than the burden on Steve’s shoulders. 

 

Although, the blonde knew it was a stretch and more than he could ask for so he shakes his head softly and steps back. 

 

“You could stay, if you want. It’s your choice.” 

 

He ignores the ache in his chest, the realization of how _stupid_ he ended up being—

 

“You mean it?” Steve stops in his retreat to his own bedroom, and he pauses to Bucky’s words. He turns around, and the brunette was bouncing on the heels of his feet and anxiously waiting for an answer. “You missed me?” 

 

“You’re really asking me that?” Steve bites back, anger filling his chest. The question was so inconsiderate, like Bucky wasn’t even listening to him. “After everything I said?”

 

“Just answer the question, Steve.”

 

“Bucky, were you _even_ —“ 

 

The brunette raises his voice, “I’m listening, alright? Just answer me.”

 

Steve takes a deep breath, air burning his lungs.

 

“Of _fucking_ course,” His mind goes blank when Bucky strides over to him, and their feet are touching. “How could I not miss my best friend?” 

 

“I’m important to you?” 

 

Steve shakes his head in disbelief. What was Bucky thinking? He truly hadn’t been listening, if he kept repeating what Steve had already said. 

 

“If you weren’t, I would’ve fought back.” 

 

“You didn’t hurt me earlier,” Bucky explains, the dots connecting in his head as this all starts to make sense. His eyes narrow, “Why?” 

 

“Because you matter too much.” Steve keeps his head held high, arms stiff at his side. Everything he was saying was the absolute truth, and nothing warmed his heart more than seeing the ends of Bucky’s mouth tilt up into a smile that he missed so, _so_ — “You’ve already been through so much pain, torture and manipulation. What good would it do if I punched you back when you tried to hit me? All I can, _want_ , to do is make sure you get better and snap out of whatever trance you’re in.” 

 

Bucky surprises the both of them, grabbing Steve by the collar of his sleep shirt and pulling him closer. 

 

Steve’s eyes go wide, and he just stares into Bucky’s eyes as their distance between each other gets closer and closer until—

 

“You punched me earlier.” He blurts out in panic. 

 

“You didn’t hurt me.” 

 

“You didn’t give me a reason to, Buck.” 

 

“Everything I do, have done....” Bucky starts to explain, sorrow filling his eyes as he wants to open his heart up to someone who’s deserving to know. “It’s the actions that shouldn’t be forgiven.” 

 

“If you need forgiveness,” Steve licks his lips when they feel dry, and his hands grip onto Bucky’s shoulders for any sort of stability and comfort. “You already have mine, I forgave you the minute I saw you turn around as your mask hit the floor.” 

 

“I almost killed you, Steve.” Bucky is practically breathless at this point. 

 

Steve just had to smile, “You didn’t.” 

 

“Because I knew, I knew how important you were to me.” Bucky said, uncurling his hand from Steve’s shirt. A sudden realization, “You’re _so_ important to me.” 

 

Steve protests, “You didn’t have to do that, you could leave your hand on me you know?” 

 

“Oh, I—“ Bucky stuttered, his face turns hot. “I didn’t think you wanted that,” 

 

“We used slept in the same bed for years, curled into eachother and you’re scared about touching me?” Steve teased him, hands finding a place in between Bucky’s neck and collarbone. 

 

“This is different,” _I love you, you complete idiot_.  

 

“How so?” Steve urged. “What’s changed about us? I still wanna hold the guy I’ve always loved so please, explain.”’

 

Bucky finds a surge of confidence in his veins and speaks up, brows furrowed and smile bright. “Explain?” He takes a breath, a leap of faith and dives in. But only after saying, “I don’t need words for that.”’

 

**Author's Note:**

> *yes I finished this fic about twenty minutes before it would get deleted in my archive drafts*!


End file.
